I WAS FIVE.

Originally shared by Mac Vogt

I WAS FIVE.

I was to marry my cat, but then

gloss in poetry class…

I sat next to her. The road

moved past me, moved

past me. I learned about chemistry.

I learned how to kiss, and I liked how

she sat there totally

out of bounds, statistically

meaningless.

in a bad way. We eloped.

We signed the papers in a bar

facing away from town, you cried

and told me about your father.

He was dead.

I held you on the skinny bed.

I told her, “ur hot,” on IM.

She found out the next day who said it.

I burned up. Immolate. I fixed on the jeep.

I knew the exact shade

of paint in the bedroom. Even now

I remember. We put paint on each other.

She touched the back of my hand

with the wet, cold brush.

Porn. And I laid

on the floor, listening to the beyond

worst-case scenario. Revelation: I was fine.

I stood at the sink. A spider descended

to hang in front of me.

So I opened her journal

again. I was disturbed. I was ugly.

We were sick of video games.

I confessed my disappointment

with my family, my mother

and you listened.

You’re the best listener I know.

Maybe I’m gay? How would I know?

No. Over skype, we took

our clothes off. I stopped

smoking weed because of you.

Drunk, I laughed. I said

come on, how could you?

I explained myself. I got a single spoon

for the ice cream

for the us. So

we got back together. Relieved

and burst out

in heaping sobs. She was taken aback.

I saw. You hugged me. Thinking long and hard on it.

She and I, she and I, she

We sang on the walk home.

until she moved in. We juice fasted.

You ran down the hall without

until I realized I was being hit on.

I realized that all along they might have thought

I’m cute. I’m a fraud. Of course.

My dad said sex is awkward and

he kept his eyes on the road.

That’s why we make jokes about it.

That’s why the Discovery Channel song

is so popular. It’s OK

to feel uncomfortable.

I set my bag down

and I turned around —

you were alone, beautiful and smiling

at me, as if

as if you already knew me.

(reshare? + Valentine’s Dream Ice Cream)?

#ValentinesDay #love #poem #poetry